If you are like me, you cannot possibly start your day without reading your horoscope. How else are you going to be fully prepared for what the Universe has in store for you?
Yeah, that’s a full, blatant lie. I am a skeptic. I prepare for the day with music, a structured to-do list, and a generous cup of coffee.
But today, I did that horoscope thing. Yes, I did. In fact, I did that x 10.
That means I’ve read the daily horoscope for my sign from ten different sources.
You’d think that since this type of a monthly, weekly, or daily horoscope is supposed to apply to a substantial sample of people, that the astrologers writing them would prioritize and compress everything from those charts and only convey the most relevant, most powerful traits of the day. Since they also claim that Astrology is a science, then they should come up with mainly the same thing. Right?
Well, this is what I set out to find out on September 28th, 2020.
Join me by reading this article. Let’s see what I discovered.
SKEPTIC’s ASTROLOGICAL FILE
Birthday: January 25th.
Zodiac sign: Aquarius.
That’s it. That’s all there is in my file.
HOW I SELECTED THE ASTROLOGERS
It is not personal. It was a random discovery for most of them. Some of the names did pop up in the past on my social media feeds, but I do not follow the activity of any of these people, and most of their names do not ring any sort of bell in my head. I prioritized those search results that quickly revealed that there was going to be a daily horoscope on the website. You’d be surprised just how many of the top astrologers – as in popular – cannot be bothered to post daily horoscopes anymore. Weekly or monthly, if you’re lucky. But I wanted the horoscope for my sign, for September 28th. So, that’s where I clicked.
JUST IN CASE YOU’RE NEW TO THIS
Astrology is a field of study and practice that is based on the assumption that celestial bodies such as planets and stars can influence the life of humans. The knowledge allegedly linked to astrology can be considered at both macro and micro levels – you can use the astrological charts to understand the world as a whole or gain insight about an individual’s trajectory in life.
Yes, it’s pseudoscience.
MY SEPTEMBER 28th, ACCORDING TO THE SKIES
- Mecca Woods
This astrologer says that I, as an Aquarius, should “Give [myself] credit where it’s due today, specifically in terms of [..] smarts or expertise”. And there I was, in danger of completely not seeing my worth or role in my own achievements. Daily self pat on the back assured thanks to Mecca.
“This also goes for your cash.”- Oh…
“Make sure others know your worth by you knowing your worth.” – Shoot. Among other professional activities, I also provide online education at reduced fees for those who very likely cannot afford my other, i.e., higher prices. Should I end those? Today…?
“You’re in high demand.” – K…
– Main Subjects: Self-worth, Money, Popularity.
- Ophira and Tali Edut, a.k.a. the AstroTwins
The AstroTwins say, “You’re golden today, Water Bearer!” – *blushes*. I’m golden…
“Charismatic Venus swings into an irresistibly dazzling trine with magnanimous Mars in the interpersonal zones of your chart.” – Sure, sure. Wait… what?!? Maybe cut some of the bombastic, unnecessary verbal glitter, i.e., forced adjectives from your predictions?
“With your already-formidable gifts of intuition and empathy hitting a new high, you could sell a latte to a barista.” – If my intuition is already-formidable, tell me again, why would I need or want to read the horoscope you wrote? Uhm… also… they linked intuition and high empathy to the ability to sell useless stuff. I’d say it’s a funny projection. That would be manipulation, AstroTwins. That’s the skill you’re praising in the Aquarius for September 28th. I’ll pass.
“But don’t squander your powers. Practice your magic by talking up a worthy cause that’s close to your heart —” – Oh, they actually got it.
“—or sealing the deal with a new client or love interest”. – No, they didn’t.
– Main Subjects: Interpersonal success.
- Jessica Adams
“The money, house, possessions, charity, business or flat must now be shared and divided differently, after the compromises of September.” – Lots of “this or that or that.” Aren’t we all in a new financial context due to the pandemic? Aren’t we all reconsidering our resources and how to distribute or use our money? Isn’t this valid for… almost everyone, almost everywhere right now?
“Alternatively, the amount of power and control must be redistributed more fairly, for next time.” – Define “more fairly”. So, what she’s saying is that to change a context, you need to reconsider how you use either your material or your mental resources. Flawed, dichotomous view aside, that covers all activities and plans.
“The issue all along was a lack of organisation, detail, method and order.” – Organisation and order seem to mean the same thing in this context. And she really likes covering all possibilities of a situation. The enumeration makes things look specific, but if you convey all the main options that may be activated in a particular context, your “prediction” is guaranteed. Even I can do it: “Tomorrow, it’ll be either sunny or cloudy.”
“You can now see how to prevent things sliding around next time.” – No, Jessica. I really cannot.
This also doesn’t feel like a “daily horoscope”. It seems more of a Monthly one.
– Main Subjects: You screwed up in September. Do [all the possible activities that can get you to undo a screw-up] today. Main subject: Fixing a screw-up? Different approaches to a screw-up? Financial.
- Annabel Gat
“Your focus turns to your finances as the moon enters Pisces, but you’re also enjoying your partnerships as Venus connects with Mars.” – Isn’t the “focus on finances” a thing we all do, in general, but even more now, with the pandemic and everything? Isn’t the financial issue – and she doesn’t even mention issues or anything, an ongoing type of focus most of us have? This could also be a very good thing: you can focus on your excellent earnings. Even if we do not like money as a subject and do not have it set as the ultimate goal of our activities, aren’t we all forced to think about money constantly?
“It’s a fantastic day to connect with someone you’ve been meaning to catch up with.” – I’ll keep that in mind. Also, another general thing. Any day we’d manage to connect with someone we’ve meant to catch up with would be a fit-for-the-goal and good day. What does she even mean by “fantastic day”? As in the person will be available? Would it be a pleasant conversation? Was I to call this person tomorrow, would our connection suffer? Same if I would’ve called them yesterday? If I miss today, should I just let them go? When is the next “fantastic day”? Hey, Annabel, I have questions!
– Main Subjects: Money, Close connections.
- Michelle Knight
The website says she’s “U.K.’s favourite Astrologer”. I wouldn’t know. I’m not in the U.K.
“While a clash between your personal and relationship needs might push some buttons today it is how both sides respond that is really exciting.” – A clash between my personal and social needs? Aren’t my needs to connect at a social level… still personal? Anyway, Annable said this was a “fantastic day” to connect, Mecca said I was “in high demand”, and the AstroTwins said this was a good day to manipulate a new love interest or client. A clash, Michelle says… Also, whose buttons?
“As the Moon makes its monthly visit to Aquarius a clash with Venus, in her final days in your relationship sector could create some personal and/or relationship tension but the timing couldn’t be better.” – So this is a… fantastic day for an interpersonal clash?
“This just happens to be the dwarf planet Cere’s first full day back in Aquarius and has returned to review your own needs and priorities just as Venus is doing the same on the relationship front.” – Well, if it’s Ceres… This explains a lot.
“This will make both more transparent and easier to read.” – Needs, priorities, relationship – transparent. Easier to read by me or by those around me?
– Main Subjects: Interpersonal tensions, Inner clarity.
- Georgia Nicols
The daily horoscope page starts with a warning for all signs:
Avoid shopping or important decisions from 3 AM to noon EDT today (midnight to 9 AM PDT). After that, the Moon moves from Aquarius into Pisces.”
I did it! I did it! It’s past noon. Whew. I almost bought a Kindle book on Amazon. Imagine the disaster that would’ve caused to my day! Begone from my sign, Moon, begone! – Yet… Georgia… Why?
“This is a great day to schmooze with loved ones and members of the general public because you feel the need to interact with others.” – Well, Georgia and Annabel seem to be on the same page today. Sort of… They’re both referencing a general truth – “We like interacting with… drum roll… those we love”. I’m still to see a horoscope that says, “Today is a fantastic day for interacting with the people whose views and actions you despise the most! Go on, pick up the phone and call them. You know you want to. ”Georgia even takes general statements a step further and says “members of the general public”. So, interact with those you love or… with anyone else today. I like how specific this is.
“You want to express your views!” – I do! I do!
“Because you are super enthusiastic, others will want to listen to you!” – Now, this is actually bad news for me. I want others to want to listen to me because they find what I’m conveying interesting, or valid, or valuable in some way. Today they’d listen because I’d be enthusiastic. Mouth, be shut for the day!
– Main Subjects: Interpersonal relationships, self-expression.
- Oscar Cainer
“Anyone can start a business. It’s the challenge of starting a profitable one that’s tricky.” – No sh*t!
“Just take a look at Dragons Den. So far, there have been 17 seasons, with 12 episodes a season. Per episode, there are approximately four entrepreneurs. That’s a lot of over the years. How many of them made it? Not as many as we might think. But some of the people who were inspired, and driven, have thrived.” – A review for a T.V. show in the daily horoscope? Is this a show? I don’t know it. Anyway, a great way to fluff up that paragraph! Smooth…
“If you believe in yourself you can achieve what you set out to achieve today.” – I believe in myself. And now I’ll go back to sleep. Oscar told me I’d achieve what I set out to achieve today. I did my part. Universe, you’re up. #SweetDreams
“The time around the Equinox is when things begin to even out.” – “Things” is rather general…
“It is when the odds that may previously have seemed to be stacked against you become a little more encouraging.” – “A little more encouraging” is not quite… encouraging.
“It’s time to rewire your heart, reconnect your soul and revive your spirit.” – Great, I’m in! How do I do that?
“Between the Equinox and the Full Moon we are offering 50% off all Horoscope charts and three free Tarot readings, exclusively on Cainer horoscopes. Claim your discounted reading now. (OFFER ENDS SOON)” – Uhm, Oscar? I did not expect an ad in the same paragraph lol. Anyway, since you stated the end of the interval as the Full Moon, isn’t that the “soon” you mean? Don’t you know when that is? Like, from your chart? Or do you want to end the offer sooner? I don’t get it, but it doesn’t matter, ‘cause I’m not buyin’.
– Main Subjects: Effortless goal achievement, Odds change.
- Sally Brompton
“You need to be ruthless with yourself, not least because cosmic activity in the most sensitive area of your chart makes it easy to believe that you no longer have what it takes.” – But Oscar said I could sleep.
“Put yourself to the test over the next few days. You’ll pass with flying colors.” – I was kind of looking for guidance for today… because, you know… daily horoscope. Thanks for the heads-up, anyway.
– Main Subjects: Motivation, Intentional effort.
- Hedy Damari
“It’s time to use your influence and clout.” – Today? O.K.
“With Mercury in your sector of career and status you’ll speak with an air of authority and people will intently listen.” – Thanks, Mercury?
“Call in favours from friends, ask for support and sell your ideas – they will be well received.” – I don’t like calling in favors. It’s manipulation, once again, since it’s based on inauthentic behavior. You helped so that you would be able to call in favors? Or, you would use those close to you because they like you? And no, I don’t think they’ll be well received.
A second astrologer tells me I should do something socially shady today. I don’t like that.
“Try to foster balance by making time for quality bonding with family.” – It depends. Do they owe me this quality time?
– Main Subjects: Professional influence, Interpersonal relationships.
Source: The Sydney Morning Herald.
- Samir Jain
“Today you are blessed by the moon, which may make you happy”. – Aww, thank you, Moon. Georgia said that the Moon wouldn’t make me happy if I buy stuff, though.
“Last week’s crunch will be over now.” – But the squats remain…
“With the help of blessing, you may get reciprocation of your hard work.” – O.K….
“With the help of your subordinates, you may be able to initiate your postponed works.” – I don’t understand the world you live in, Samir. A world where all those under the Aquarius sign have subordinates… I have zero. And that’s the exact number I desire. So, I guess I’ll have to deal with the postponed work myself. Mhm…
“There are some gains in your business which may boost your finance.” – Yeah, gains usually do that.
Main Subjects: Professional work, Goals achieved via others, Financial Gains.
Source: Times of India.
I reached the end of my astrological journey for today. I am… rather confused and exhausted already.
The reason why I listed the main subjects for each of the horoscopes is that I wanted to highlight how each of the astrologers considered a different topic or set of topics to be the most important for today’s predictions. Not only do they focus on very different things, but when they address the same broad context, they often see opposing settings, factors, and outcomes.
Based on these ten horoscopes, today – September 28th, when I am writing, but not necessarily also publishing this article – I may experience great social connections or interpersonal tensions, I may achieve things with great effort or with no effort at all, I may focus on myself or my work, I may achieve it all alone or via others, I may win or lose money, etc.
I don’t know about you, but this Monday seems no different from any other day when all of these things could happen. Prediction, or no prediction.
Some of you may be tempted to say that I may have chosen the wrong, as in less skilled astrologers. Maybe you like some of the astrologers above or someone else, and you would [almost] exclusively trust them with your daily guidance-via-stars-and-other-celestial-stuff. But how could you be sure they are the right, true, gifted ones?
They all refer to incredibly general things. These elements would apply to almost anyone, on any day. If you fail to see that there is nothing specific for you/your sign in their prediction, then you would likely validate their horoscope and may even feel confident enough and trust them with a private reading.
But look closely. Ask your friends, especially those who are not sharing your zodiac sign, and see if your horoscope may also be a fit for their life contexts as well.
Our mind also plays another funny trick on us: we tend to remember the hits and forget the misses. So, when it comes to astrologers, psychics, tarot readers, and other similar fields of activity, it is highly likely that you would only remember the things that matched your story and ignore those that don’t have anything to do with your life.
So far, astrologers have failed to prove a link between how the skies work and how we react or how our lives unfold. Yes, we have tides on Earth because of the Moon, but the Moon doesn’t influence us individually. Think of gravity. It affects us all the same. General laws of the world do that. They work for everyone all the time.
Can you say the same about the daily horoscope?
P.S. And yes, many of these horoscopes, even your “personal chart,” are written without the astrologer ever looking on a celestial chart. In fact, a lot of times, these are ghostwritten. It makes for catchier texts. And catchier texts make for better business.